


The Distance Between Us

by Pandora54321



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Casual Sex, Eventual Romance, Fluff, M/M, Smut, We jump straight into the smut this time, and then romance boom, head first, just a dash of angst just a dash, saeran just wants mutuality in their relationship, saeyoung is eager to please, the smut comes first THEN the romance, then they both eventually realize they want MORE, we’re going opposite this time bois
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-02-27 07:58:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18734878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandora54321/pseuds/Pandora54321
Summary: A continuation of V’s forgive after ending. (You’ll def want to play it before reading)Saeran is home with his brother and everything seems great. That is, until a harmless kissing game transforms into something more. Saeran wants more from their relationship, but what does Saeyoung want?





	1. Chapter 1

“Please give a round of applause for our newest member.” Jiyhun announced to the crowd. Applause echoed through the hall. 

“Huh? His face…” Clearly a guest had noticed the resemblance. 

Saeran sighed, breathless. All the applause was a bit unnerving. And what would come next…

“Saeran!!!” Saeyoung cried. 

Saeran jolted in shock at his name being said so loudly. 

Saeyoung ran up to him and grabbed him by the shoulders. “You’re Saeran, aren't you? It must be you!” His grip was hard and dug into Saeran’s pink tuxedo. “You’re alive. Thank you so much for being alive.” The relief was clear in his voice. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and he made no effort to wipe them away. 

“See? I told you there is nothing to worry about.” Jigging joked. He’d already known what a reaction seeing Saeran for the first time in two years would get from Saeyoung. But Saeran had had his worries nonetheless. 

Saeyoung enveloped Saeran in an embrace. “It must be you. Say something, Saeran…Saeran. It feels like you’d go away if I don’t hold you. Don’t go away! Don’t you ever leave me now!” He released his hold slightly to turn his head to Jihyun. “Thanks, V. You have my gratitude for eternity. You saved my brother didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry I hurt him in the first place.” Jihyun replied. 

“…You remember me. Even though my face is like…what it is now.” Saeran stood stunned. 

Saeyoung resumed the hug once again. “What are you talking about? Of course I remember my brother.” He could never forget, not ever. 

“…Saeyoung.” Saeran’s lips trembled as unshed tears sprung to his eyes. “It IS you!” 

—-

“You’ll love our new home Saeran. It’s a nice house, not dreary like my old apartment. And it’s under my real name! Isn’t that amazing? That we can have identities now? I’m still getting used to it to be honest.” Saeyoung pulled into the driveway and switched the gear into park. “You’ll be moving in, won’t you?” 

“Yeah. I have all my bags at the hotel but I’ll get them tomorrow.” Saeran replied. 

Saeyoung smiled. Suddenly tears sprang to his eyes. “I can’t believe this is really happening…!” He wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve. This was probably the fifth time he’d cried that night, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Saeran was home. “I have a room for you and everything. I was always holding onto hope that you were alive out there somewhere, so I made a room for you when I moved in. There’s clothing already there and a fully stocked bathroom, I don’t know if you’ll like anything I got but I couldn’t help myself from buying you things. I haven’t decorated it yet though, I’ll leave that to you.” Saeyoung unbuckled his seatbelt and opened his door, stepping out of the car. 

Saeran followed suit and followed his brother to the back door. Saeyoung took out his keys and unlocked it. He swung the door open. They stepped inside and shut the door behind him. Saeyoung flicked on the lights. “This is it.” The house was furnished, but lacked decorations. Saeyoung suddenly felt self-conscious. “I haven’t decorated most of the house yet, despite having lived there for two years. It just never seemed all that important.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s pretty plain isn’t it? Sorry…it didn’t seem worth doing at the time.” Nothing had seemed worth doing with his brother gone. 

“Maybe I could decorate…? I sort of like interior design.” Saeran had decorated MC’s room back at Mint Eye. That was back when he was Ray. 

“Of course! That’s a wonderful idea. This is your home too now, make it look however you want! I’d love to see what you come up with.” Saeyoung said happily. 

Saeran was glad to have such positive support. He was happy Saeyoung was welcoming him with open arms. He’d been moving around with V these past two years, it would be nice to finally have a real place to call home. 

“Do you want some ice cream? I always keep it stocked in the freezer. I have all sorts of flavors. I even have the kind you break apart to share with a friend, those have always been my favorite.” 

“Mine too.”

Saeyoung smiled. “I’ll get us some. Actually, you come with me. This is as good a time as any to give you a tour.” Saeyoung led Saeran to the kitchen. “Here’s the kitchen. There’s the pantry, the stove, the oven, the fridge…oh I’ll grab the ice cream.” He went to the freezer and found what he was looking for. He tore off the packaging. “Let’s break it apart on three.” 

They counted down and broke apart the popsicles. Saeyoung put his in his mouth, and marveled at the sweet flavor. It tasted much better than usual, and he was sure it was because he had Saeran there to share it with. 

Saeran was happy too. All those nervous nights wondering if Saeyoung would remember him seemed like a distant dream now. This was his reality. It was so wonderful that he couldn’t have been sure it all was real, that he was allowed such pleasures. But for now, he decided to revel in it. 

“Come on, I’ll show you around.” 

—-

After a few days, Saeran was finally settled in. Right now the sat snuggled together on the couch. Saeyoung had his head nuzzled into his twin’s neck, feeling calmer than he had in years. 

“Tell me about your travels, Saeran. What things did you do with V?” Saeyoung asked. 

“Well we traveled around a lot. We visited a bunch of different countries, and stayed in each for a few months at a time. We’d visit the landmarks and V would paint with supplies he’d brought. I usually just sat and watched him build the scene on canvas. And when I got bored of that I’d search for flowers and explore the local fauna.” Saeran explained. 

“What countries did you visit?” 

“A bunch. Croatia first, then Italy, Greece, France, Peru, Canada, Brazil, Mexico, and finally Alaska in The United States.” 

“I’ve actually been to most of those countries on missions.” Saeyoung laughed. “I never got the chance to sight-see though, it was always for work purposes. Wow, you must have some amazing experiences. I want to hear about everything.” 

“Is there anything you want to know in specific?” 

Saeyoung sat in thought for a moment. He was curious to how well versed his brother was in the world, and how experienced in general. One thought kept coming to mind. “How experienced are you with girls?” 

“Girls? What do you mean?” 

“Boys too if that’s your thing. I mean have you ever had a girlfriend—that type of thing.” 

Saeran’s face heated up. He was surprised such a private question was being asked. “There…was one girl. From Brazil. Her name was Maria. She owned a flower shop. I dated her for a while.” 

“How far did you get? Did you kiss her? Did you get to fourth base?

“Yeah we kissed. What’s fourth base?” Saeran asked in confusion.

“Y’know a home run!” When Saeran still didn’t seem to get it He put it in more blunt terms. “Did you two have sex?” 

“Saeyoung?!” Saeran turned beet red. 

“What? We’re brothers! There’s no need to be embarrassed!” Saeyoung laughed. “I just want to know how experienced you are. Does my brother know the wonders of the world?” 

“Well…Yes. I’ve had sex.” Saeran said in embarrassment. 

“So you’re not a virgin. I was just curious.” 

“Why would you be curious about that?” 

“Well, you’re actually more experienced than I am in the realm of girls. I’ve never had a girlfriend before, I’ve never been able to. And I’ve never had my first kiss either.” 

“So you’ve never…” 

“No, I’ve had sex plenty of times.” Saeyoung shrugged. 

“But you haven’t even kissed!” Saeran said in surprise. 

“Because it was with prostitutes. You don’t really kiss prostitutes.” Saeyoung chuckled. He stopped laughing and sighed. “I always wanted my first kiss to be with someone I loved. I thought it was too special to get rid of for a couple hundred dollars. Sorry, that’s probably stupid…” 

“It’s not stupid at all to want your first kiss to be with someone you love.” Saeran insisted. 

“But I don’t have someone I love. I’ve never been able to have someone to love. Except…” 

“Except what?” 

Saeyoung lifted himself from his relaxed position on the couch to look Saeran in the eyes. “I love you.” 

It took Saeran a second to understand what his brother was getting at. He blushed, and swallowed in anticipation. “Okay…” he breathed. 

Saeyoung leaned forward tentatively. He hesitated, uncertain if he should be doing it, but steeled himself to continue. His lips finally met Saeran’s, and he swore he could feel electricity running through his veins. Saeran’s lips were soft and he didn’t want the kiss to end. He found himself deepening it. 

Then he finally released. 

He leaned back ever so slightly to look at his twins face, trying to gauge his reaction. Saeran had enjoyed the kiss as much as Saeyoung had, and wished he hadn’t ended it when he did. 

“Wow…That was my first kiss. I…I liked it.” Saeyoung blushed and touched his fingers to his bottom lip, which still tingled from the contact. 

Saeran bit his lip, wishing he was still kissing his brother. “You know…there’s another way people kiss. The more adult way…” 

“Ah, you mean…” with tongue. “I’m kind of curious. Could you show me the way adults kiss?” Saeyoung licked his dry lips and breathed. 

Saeran nodded his head. 

Saeyoung leaned back in and kissed his brother, this time with more confidence. Saeran tilted his head to deepen the kiss, and Saeyoung wrapped his arms around his brother’s neck. After a few moments, Saeran prodded Saeyoung lips with his tongue, and Saeyoung opened his mouth to allow access. 

It felt electrifying. Saeran explored his brother’s mouth with his tongue and Saeyoung tried to match his pace. It was so absorbing that Saeran barely noticed the tension flowing to his groin until—

He broke off the kiss. 

“A-ah sorry I don’t…I mean…!” He tried to cover his hardened member with his hands in embarrassment. “I don’t know why…I-I…!” 

Saeyoung watched him fumble with an unreadable expression. “Hey, lean back.” He finally said. 

Saeran sat frozen in confusion. 

“Here, I can fix it.” Saeyoung whispered. He leaned forward and began to unzip Saeran’s pants. 

“Saeyoung?! What are you doing?!” 

“Trust me. I’m really good at this.” Saeyoung smiled. 

Saeran sat in confused silence as Saeyoung released his erect penis from the confines of his pants. He wanted to say something, something about how wrong it was—but the words caught in his throat. He really wanted to know what would happen next despite himself. 

Saeyoung finally took his twin’s cock in his mouth. Saeran’s breath was completely taken away and he moaned. Saeyoung licked up and down the shaft and sucked on the head, providing calculated stimulation to maximize his brother’s pleasure. 

Saeran couldn’t hold back the moans bubbling from his throat at his brother’s ministrations. “Saeyoung…!” He panted. 

Saeyoung shuddered at his name being called out. Even though his hardened cock received no stimulation he felt jolts of pleasure run through him with every one of his brother’s moans. It made him ecstatic that he could make his brother feel good in such a way. For all the pain he caused his brother, he was grateful to be able to give pleasure. He couldn’t help but moan a little himself. ‘Does it feel good, Saeran? Am I making you feel good?’ He asked in his head.

Saeyoung was right: he was really good at this. Saeran could barely form a coherent thought, so many things were going through his head at once. He felt like his dick was melting in his brother’s mouth. He was a mess of moans and pants. He couldn’t believe his brother was doing something like this, the situation felt so unreal. 

Finally, with newfound confidence, Saeyoung took Saeran’s full length into his mouth, which finally drove Saeran over the edge. He came inside his brother’s mouth, Saeyoung trying his best to swallow every drop. 

When it was over, Saeyoung released Saeran from his mouth and pulled back, panting for breath. Saeran raked his hand through his hair and tried to catch his breath. 

Saeyoung was the one to break the silence. “Saeran…” He looked his brother in the eyes. “That was fun, can we do it again some time?” 

And that was how it started.


	2. Chapter 2

They continued the sexual favors throughout the rest of the week. Saeyoung was usually the one to initiate it. He’d come, pull his brother into a kiss, and give him a hand job or suck him off. A few times, Saeran awkwardly asked for it from his brother, stuttering his sentences in anxiety. But his nervousness wasn’t necessary, because Saeyoung was always happy to oblige in anything his brother asked for. 

It was never the other way around, though. Saeran didn’t know how to give oral or manual sex but he had offered for the sake of politeness. Saeyoung always refused though, saying that he got enough pleasure out of stimulating Saeran. 

Saeran didn’t understand what exactly Saeyoung got out of these affairs, never meeting a release. But Saeyoung always had the most contented smile on his face after making his brother come. 

Saeran wished for more, though. 

Part of him wanted to satisfy his twin as well. But he always gave up after Saeyoung refused. He didn’t want to be needy to his brother in any way, considering how generous Saeyoung always was with him. 

He also learned that what they were doing wasn’t normal by any means. He’d already had an inkling, but it was confirmed by Saeyoung himself one day, while they both sat on the couch together. 

“You can’t tell anyone about this, okay? They wouldn’t understand.” Saeyoung had said. 

“Is what we're doing really that wrong?” Saeran asked. 

“I don’t believe so. I don’t think what we’re doing is that bad. We’re fully consenting adults. But other people wouldn’t understand our game. They’d think of it as disgusting.” 

“Game?” 

“Yeah, our game. That’s all it is, just a harmless game we play together. Let’s keep it a secret though. Let’s make a pinky swear.” Saeyoung wrapped his pinky around his brother’s. “We’ll keep it to ourselves, our secret little game.” 

After that he smiled mischievously and shuffled closer to Saeran. “It’s a fun game though, isn’t it?” Saeyoung pressed his lips onto his brother’s and climbed into his lap. After a few minutes of kissing and slow grinding, Saeyoung teased his brother’s erect cock with his hands, and massaged it until release. He licked the cum off of his hand right in front of Saeran, and if he hadn’t just climaxed, he would’ve gotten hard at the sight of it. 

Needless to say, these days had been a dreamlike state of bliss for Saeran. His brother spent all his time doting on him and bonding with him, and occasionally gave him sexual favors on top of that. Saeran treasured every second he spent with his brother, and Saeyoung seemed just as happy. 

But those happy days had to end somewhere. 

[Saeyoung has joined the chat] 

Jumin Han: Finally, you’re on the messenger. 

Jumin Han: You’ve run out of vacation days, how long do you intend to be out of work? 

Saeyoung: I don’t want to leave Saeran all alone in the house. 

Jumin Han: When are you coming back to work? 

Saeyoung: I can’t go to work while Saeran is here, I’d have to leave him. 

MC: Is something wrong with Saeran?

Saeyoung: No. he’s doing okay. 

Jumin Han: You have to come to work. 

Saeyoung: I’ll take my sick days. 

Jumin Han: And after those run out? 

Saeyoung: I don’t know Jumin I’m just telling you I can’t! 

Saeyoung: Not while Saeran is here. 

Zen: Come on dude, lay off him. His brother just came back from the dead. 

Saeyoung: Yeah. 

Jumin Han: From my understanding of the situation, Saeran will be there indefinitely. 

Jumin Han: Are you saying you won’t come back to work? 

Jumin Han: I feel the need to remind you that our contract is still valid for another eight years. 

At this, Saeyoung started to get irritated. 

Saeyoung: Fire me. 

Jumin Han: What? 

Saeyoung: I said fire me. I can’t quit because of the contract but you can still fire me for unruly conduct. 

MC: Woah let’s calm down a bit and think about this rationally. 

Jumin Han: You’re alright with losing your entire livelihood? 

Saeyoung: I have enough money saved up from my agency days to last me and Saeran until our death beds and then some. 

Saeyoung: I don’t need my job. 

Jumin Han: You’d be making a horrible mistake. 

Saeyoung: Just face it, Jumin. I’m the only employee you can’t intimidate into submission. 

MC: Okay, lets all just breathe for a second. 

Jumin Han: What is that supposed to mean? 

Saeyoung: It means that your authority doesn’t mean shit to me. I’ve dealt with way worse bosses than you, you don’t scare me at all. 

Zen: Damn. 

Jumin Han: You should know that talking to your boss in this way yields consequences. 

Saeyoung: What are you gonna do? Fire me? 

Zen: Oh shit son!

MC: Zen! Stop encouraging this! 

Zen: But watching Saeyoung stick it to Jumin like this is so satisfying. 

MC: That’s it, I’m getting Saeran. 

[MC has left the chat] 

…

[MC has entered the chat]

[Saeran has entered the chat] 

Saeran: Hyung! What do you mean you won’t go to work? 

Saeyoung: I don’t want to leave you. 

Saeran: But you can’t just quit. 

Saeyoung: No, but I can get fired for not doing my work. 

Saeran: I don’t want you losing your job because of me. 

Saeyoung: it’s not your fault! I just don’t want to leave you! 

Saeran: But I’ll be fine! You trust me don’t you? 

Saeyoung: of course I trust you. But that isn’t the problem! 

Saeyoung: No, I just…I just can’t. 

MC: I think there’s a solution here that works for everyone. 

And that’s how Saeran started coming with Saeyoung to work. He’d just hang out in the corner of the intelligence unit’s room and play games on his phone while his brother worked.

Around halfway through the workday, Jaehee approached him. “We have coffee in the break room if you’d like some.” 

Saeran looked up from his phone. “I’m not really a big coffee fan.” 

“Saeyoung is the same way, so we keep hot cocoa stocked there as well.” Said Jaehee. 

A hot cocoa sounded nice to Saeran. “Okay.” 

“Come on, I’ll show you how to use the machine.” 

They went into the break room. Jaehee helped Saeran get his hot chocolate. 

“Sorry for troubling you. I would’ve stayed home but hyung is acting so weird about it. It’s like he doesn’t trust me to stay safe or something.” Saeran apologized. 

“I don’t think he doesn’t trust you. I think it’s something else.” 

“What do you mean?” Saeran asked. 

“I’m not sure if it’s alright for me to say this, but isn’t he scared you’ll die?” Jaehee said. 

“Die?!”

“Yes. He thought you were dead these past two years with only the slimmest chance of hope keeping him in this world. Now he finally has you back safe and sound, it’s only natural he’d be afraid to lose you again.” Jaehee explained. 

Saeran looked down into his cup. “I never thought of it that way…” 

“It’s not my place to analyze Saeyoung’s thoughts, but I think these years really wore him down. Usually, when a family member dies, you go into shock and cycle through the stages of grief. But it gets better over time as you accept their loss. But being stuck not knowing if you were truly dead, you’d never be able to let go. So he was just swimming in a sea of perpetual grief with no ending, no acceptance. It seems very hard…” Jaehee was especially empathetic towards losses, having dealt with her fair share over her life. She had worried for Saeyoung’s mental state many times over those past two years. 

“Hyung…I didn’t realize…” Saeran trailed off. 

“That’s just my take on it though, take what I say with a grain of salt.” 

“Thank you for telling me. I think you’re right.” Saeran started down at his feet in thought a moment. “Can I ask for your advice on something?” 

“Of course.” 

“So Saeyoung has been extremely generous. He gives a lot to me. But he always refuses when I offer to give back, saying that he’s content just giving. What should I do?” Saeran asked. 

Jaehee turned the question over in her head for a minute. “It just means he finds joy in the giving, doesn’t it?” 

“I know he does, but…I don’t just want to receive all the time. I want to give back too…” 

“Have you told him that?” 

“No…he’s already being so nice to me. I feel bad for asking for more.” 

“It sounds like you have some problems being assertive of your desires. You need to tell him clearly what you want, or else he’ll never know. It sounds like what you want is mutuality.” Jaehee explained. 

“Mutuality?” 

“Where you both give and receive on equal terms. Mutuality.” 

“But is it really okay? What if he says he doesn’t want it?” 

“Have you thought that maybe he feels guilty about receiving from you?” Jaehee asked. 

“Guilty? Why would he feel guilty?” Saeran wondered. 

“I don’t know, it just came to my mind when you asked. Maybe he wants to be given back to, but feels bad about receiving so avoids it.” 

“Maybe you’re right.” 

“I think the best solution is to be assertive with your desires. Saeyoung may feel uncomfortable with it at first, but mutuality is important in a relationship.” 

“Thanks Jaehee. I think I’ll talk to hyung tonight.” 

“I have to get back to work now. Enjoy your hot chocolate.” 

“Bye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow phew, I just wrote all that in one sitting. I’m so excited for the next chapter I might just go ahead and write it tomorrow (there’s gonna be sexy times). Ahhh but I have to work on Pining still. I still love Pining, don’t get me wrong—I’m just excited to finally write some smut between the two of them. Ahhhh But no rest for the wicked, I’ll get to work on Pining tomorrow and update within the next few days. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Saeyoung sat at his desk typing away a string of code. He knew he was in need of a break when his last line ended with the word _Saeran_. ‘I’ll go check on him.’ He sat up from his computer and walked to the break room. 

He opened the door to see his brother sitting at the table with a mug of cocoa in hand. “I see you found the hot cocoa.” Saeyoung commented. “They have it here specifically for me. I don’t like the taste of coffee, but even a genius needs a little eye-opener in the morning. Maybe I’ll have a mug for myself too.” 

Saeyoung walked over to the coffee machine and added a packet of hot chocolate. Soon, he had a steaming cup of cocoa ready. He sat down at the table across from his brother. 

“What game are you playing?” Saeyoung asked. 

“A farming game. The game works in cycles of seasons. You harvest a crop in fall and plant one in spring. You start up as a small farm and buy things and build new buildings. I’m at level 75.” He showed his brother the game on his phone. 

“Wow you’re really far into the game, huh?” 

“I played some video games to pass the time while we were abroad.” 

Saeyoung bit his lip and sat silently for a minute. ‘I wonder if anyone would notice if I whisked Saeran away to the bathroom for a quick blowjob.’ He thought. 

“Saeyoung? Are you thinking about something? You’re zoning out.” 

“Nothing. I just really needed the caffeine I guess. Anyway it sounds like a fun game.” ‘It’s probably a bad idea to do it here. There’s cameras in the hallway and people might be in the bathroom to hear.’ He decided. 

“How long are we going to be here?” Saeran asked. 

“I’m sorry, are you bored? It’s a normal 9 to 5 job so we’ll be here a while.” ‘I promise I’ll put a smile on that face when we get home.’ He hated making his brother feel bored or uncomfortable. Saeyoung wanted his brother to feel good all the time. He was glad to have some means of providing his brother with pleasure. 

“It’s fine. I have video games and I can just bring a book tomorrow.” Saeran said. 

“Alright.” Saeyoung gripped his mug harder. “I’m sorry I made you come here. You should be at home, I know, I just…” the words caught in his throat. 

Saeran reached across the table to rest his hand on his brother’s. “It’s fine. I understand.” ‘You’re afraid of me leaving again.’ In a way, it was similar to how Saeyoung has left him all those years ago. ‘Not knowing whether you were alive or dead…it did hurt.’ It had hurt a lot. He’d had some time to heal and find himself these past two years, but Saeyoung’s wound was still fresh. He didn’t want to be demanding of him now. ‘It won’t last forever. Once he feels sure I’m not leaving again, he won’t need to take me everywhere.’ 

Saeyoung smiled. He’d felt like everyone thought he was insane for being so worried. It felt nice that someone understood. Little did he know, that someone had been Jaehee. 

“Sure that sounds nice.” Replied Saeran. 

Saeyoung stood up from the table. “I have to get back to work, I’ll see you again in a few hours.” 

“Alright. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Saeyoung smiled. 

—-

The day was done and they could finally go home. They drove Saeyoung’s baby back to the house and went inside. 

The second the door closed Saeyoung’s lips were on Saeran’s. They kissed passionately for a minute before Saeran broke it. 

“Is something wrong?” Saeyoung asked. ‘Did I do something wrong?’ 

“No, nothing’s wrong it’s just…can we talk?” Saeran replied. 

“Sure.” Saeyoung answered, still slightly confused. They walked to the couch and sat down. 

“Saeyoung, do you know what mutuality is?” Saeran asked. 

Saeyoung hesitated. “I know the basic definition, yes, but in what context?” 

“…I don’t understand why you keep refusing to let me do things for you, you know, sexually.” 

“I told you, Saeran—I don’t need anything like that. As long as I can make you feel good, I’m happy.” 

“But that’s not what I want, hyung. I don’t only want to receive. I want to give back too.” 

“But…I…” ‘I don’t deserve to be given to, Saeran.’ “I don’t need that Saeran, I’m happy as things are.” 

“I know…but I’m not.” Saeran admitted. “I…want to make you feel good too…” he blushed. 

Saeyoung was taken aback. “You…you do?” 

“Yeah! I do.” Saeran nodded his head. His cheeks were dusted with a flush. It was still awkward for him to talk about these things. 

“Well…there is a type of sex where both people can receive stimulation, but…I don’t know if you’d want to try it…” he trailed off. 

“Why?” 

“Because it’s more official, and more…intimate. This is just a fun game we started…it’s not something that’s supposed to be like that.” 

“But I don’t mind it! I don’t mind if it’s intimate.” 

Saeyoung paused to gather his thoughts. “I guess sex can be just sex…so it shouldn’t be a problem if you want to try it. I have some lube in my bedroom, we can do it there.” 

“Alright.” Saeran has to admit that he was a little nervous. But Jaehee was right, he had to be more assertive with his opinion. So far it seemed like it was working, too! 

They walked to the bedroom together. Saeyoung rummaged through a drawer and found a bottle of lube. ‘I need to buy a new one.’ He thought. ‘This one is getting old.’ He hadn’t had much of a sexual appetite while his brother was ‘dead’. He climbed onto the bed, Saeran following. “I guess we should start by taking off our clothes.” He said. 

The thought unnerved Saeyoung. He’d grown significantly skinnier over these past two years. In his grief, he he stopped eating well and skipped meals more often than not when it was mildly inconvenient. Yoosung would cook for him a lot to make sure he was getting proper meals. He still drank a lot of soda for caffeine so he got the necessary amount of calories. He’d kept up his agency exercises though, because he knew if Saeran ever came back he’d have to protect him, so he still had a significant amount of muscle mass. 

Saeyoung removed his shirt, and Saeran marveled at the amount of muscle his brother had. His confidence dropped and suddenly he felt significantly more self conscious about his body. He didn’t have much muscle on his body. He was eating better now than before but he was still very skinny. ‘Do I really have to take off my clothes?’ They could probably do it just fine while staying mostly dressed, or at least keeping his shirt on. He didn’t want his resolve to waver now though, so he took a deep breath and took his shirt off. 

Saeran really had nothing to worry about, because Saeyoung thought he was beautiful. His pale skin, his skinny frame, his mint eyes—it was all beautiful to him. It took his breath away. 

“I’m sorry I look like this…I’m not very handsome…” Saeran said. 

“What are you talking about? I think you’re plenty handsome. I can tell you don’t believe me but really, it’s true. I think you’re beautiful. We don’t have to keep going, Saeran. I’m fine with the way things were.” 

Saeran breathed. He felt a little better after hearing that. He still had a hard time believing compliments, in all his self hate, but he wanted to trust his brother. He didn’t want to stop, though. If he let his resolve waver, Saeyoung could convince him to stop this all together and things would go back to the way they were. Saeran didn’t want that. “No. Let’s keep going.” 

Saeyoung hated that Saeran was feeling bad in any way. He wanted to make him feel better in the only way he understood how. He pressed his lips onto Saeran’s. Saeran was still a moment in surprise but soon returned the kiss. Saeyoung prodded at his lips with his tongue and Saeran granted access. 

Saeyoung unbuttoned his pants and stepped out of his jeans. He reached for the button on his brother’s pants after that. ‘Don’t think about anything bad, my love. Just think about this.’ He thought silently. All that was coming out of his mouth was pants as his tongue danced with Saeran’s. 

He pushed Saeran down lightly and climbed on top of him. He helped Saeran out of his jeans as well. He grinded slowly on top of him, providing enough stimulation to make him moan. His fingers played with the band of Saeran’s underwear, then pulled it down and off. He stripped off his own as well. He reached for the bottle of lube and opened it. 

“Wait! I have to prepare you first.” Saeran protested. 

“Oh, it’s fine. I’ve actually done this a lot so I’m confident I can take it alright.” He didn’t want to make his brother do any work. 

“No. I want to prepare you.” Saeran said with an unwavering tone. “Lay down over there so I can prepare you properly. I want to do this right.” 

Saeyoung looked down at him and sighed. ‘Saeran’s being very stubborn today.’ It wasn’t that he minded. He was so eager to please that he wouldn’t mind if his brother straight up ordered him around to do things. It was just surprising. Saeran had been fairly submissive this past month so him acting so firm came as a shock. “Alright.” He complied with his brother’s demands and laid down, his head resting on a pillow behind him. His legs were bent so that Saeran could get closer to him. 

Saeran got up and moved next to his brother’s legs. He grabbed the bottle of lube and opened it. He squirted a generous amount onto his fingers, then put the bottle aside. He breathed deeply. He was nervous, truthfully. He was worried he wouldn’t do it right (even though the process was fairly straightforward). “Okay, I’m gonna start.” 

Saeyoung nodded his head to show he understood. 

Saeran slid a finger into Saeyoung’s ass. It was warm inside and the lube made it wet. He imagined the inside around his cock and shuddered. But that was for later, so for now he just continued fingering Saeyoung. He kept going until he thought it was loose enough to slip in another finger. Saeyoung’s breathing had become heavy, and he panted softly. Saeran took it as an indication that he was doing alright. 

Saeyoung moaned, and Saeran felt his confidence boost. He was making Saeyoung feel good, he was doing it right! It felt nice to him. What was better is that Saeyoung was letting him have a little control, and that feeling was intoxicating. 

Saeyoung couldn’t help but feel eager for more. He didn’t want to go a moment longer being the only person receiving pleasure as well. “I think I’m ready.” He panted. 

Saeran nodded. He positioned his erect cock and pushed into Saeyoung. He gasped at how it felt. Saeyoung’s mouth and his hand had been one thing, but this was on a whole different level. It felt like he was melting into the warmth. And best of all, he felt connected to his brother. He tried best to stay still to let his brother get used to him. 

Saeyoung was thinking much the same way. He had Saeran inside him. He could feel the heat of his cock all throughout his abdomen. It made it feel so…real. ‘Saeran’s real…He’s really here with me, and now we’re connected.’ He suddenly felt much more needy. He wanted more confirmation—confirmation that Saeran was truly back. “Saeran…please…” 

Saeran licked his dry lips. He leaned down to plant a kiss on his brother’s lips before thrusting in the first time. It felt so good that he lost control of his hips, thrusting in and out. Saeyoung moaned each time and wrapped his legs around Saeran’s body. “A-aah, Saeran…” He panted. 

Hearing Saeyoung call out his name like that drove Saeran crazy. His brother’s eyes were clouded with lust and he loved the way he was affecting him. He panted and moaned as he thrust. “Am I…ah, doing okay?” He asked. 

It took Saeyoung Saeyoung a second to process the words with how hazy his mind felt. “Ah…haah…Yeah. It feels good.” ‘You’re here, you’re really here, and you love me and—‘ his mind was bursting with joy. 

Climax built for the both of them and they finally went over the edge. They came together, Saeran spilling his seed inside of Saeyoung. Saeran was hunched over, gasping for air. He finally pulled out after catching his breath. 

“Sorry…I didn’t mean to come inside.” He watched the cum drip from Saeyoung’s anus. The sight stirred him in his belly. 

“It’s fine. I like it this way.” He reached down and patted his abdomen. It only made what they did feel even more real. “Come lay down with me.” He reached out his arms for his brother. He felt needy, and for once allowed himself to act on those feelings. 

Saeran complied and laid down next to his twin. They snuggled together, Saeyoung wrapping his arms around him. “You were right. That felt good.” 

That made Saeran feel validated. “I’m glad. I liked it too.” Saeran smiled. Mutuality really was much better.

Saeyoung sighed contentedly. They laid in each other’s arms in a comfortable silence for a while. 

Saeyoung looked at the time. It was only 6:30. “We still have to make dinner, huh?” 

“We could just order out?” Saeran suggested. 

“That sounds good.” 

“You wait here and I’ll order takeout. You shouldn’t move for a while since you’ll be sore.” 

“Saeran…I told you I’ve done this a lot, and I’ve seriously had much rougher and been fine. You don’t have to worry so much about me.” Saeyoung said this but it did feel really nice to have Saeran take care of him so tenderly. 

Knowing that Saeyoung had been with a lot of people before made him wince. He felt a stab of jealousy. But now he knew that his brother liked it rough, he filed that away for later. “At least stay still for a few hours.” Saeran said. “I’ll go order some takeout.” 

As Saeran was walking out, Saeyoung spoke up. “Hey Saeran…” he smiled fondly. “I’m glad you’re home. I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one: 
> 
> Saeyoung: I wonder if I can take my brother to the bathroom and give him a blowjob. 
> 
> And that’s the fic! 
> 
> Lol jk. Anyway how did I do with my first smut scene? I hope I did well. Saeran was so sweet and tender my heart aww. I’m also laughing bc Jaehee unknowingly prompted incest sex and I’m just lmao. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Saeyoung was having a wonderful morning. 

He awoke with his brother’s warmth beside him. He woke up before Saeran, and Saeyoung watched the gentle rise and fall of Saeran’s breathing with content. 

He reflected on the day prior. Saeran really was right, adding mutuality to their game made it much more fun. And he enjoyed the intimacy. ‘None of its real,’ he reminded himself. ‘It’s all just a game.’ He had to keep that in mind while playing with Saeran. He couldn’t get too attached to this, because one day it’ll all end. Saeran will find a partner and they’ll have to stop the game. Then they’ll pretend it never happened and move on. 

But that was fine. 

All that mattered was that he made Saeran feel good. He was finally doing something right as a brother! It made him happy. He’s hurt Saeran far too much in this life, he wanted to make up for it. Every time he gave Saeran pleasure, it made him feel like he was making up for his mistakes. Even though he knew no amount of sex could fix what he’s done, it made him feel better nonetheless. 

And there was another thing he liked about the sex. Something that he’d only discovered the day before. And that was how absolutely real Saeran felt when he was inside him. The heat that spread through his abdomen was proof that Saeran really was back with him. It made him feel whole, so connected to his brother. 

He’d never felt better in his entire life. 

Saeran stirred and finally opened his eyes. 

“Good morning .” Saeyoung greeted. 

Saeran blinked and rubbed his eyes, yawning. “Good morning, hyung. Did you sleep well?” He asked. 

“Better than I have in years.” Saeyoung replied. He sat up in the bed. “We’d better get up quick. We still have to take showers.” They’d gone straight to bed after their dinner last night. Luckily going to bed early means waking up early, they still had good two hours before work. And it wasn’t the end of the world if they were late anyway. What were they gonna do? Fire their best employee and leave the intelligence unit fully in the hands of someone who barely knew coding? They were fine. 

“I’ll go make breakfast then, while you shower. I can shower afterwards.” Saeran said. 

“Sounds good.” Saeyoung got up and walked to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and swept aside the shower curtains to step inside. He turned the faucet and let the warm water run down his body. ‘I love warm showers.’ They never used to get warm showers when they were living with their mother. That’s why he was so amazed by them once he left. ‘I wonder if Saeran likes them too.’ 

He shampood his hair and rinsed it out. He put in conditioner and left it while he washed his body. He was using a conditioner Zen had recommended on MC’s insistence. They were always trying to get him to take care of himself while Saeran was gone. In some cases, he humored them, like with the conditioner. In other cases, he ignored them, like by skipping meals at the slightest inconvenience. Although, he was grateful to them now, because it means he didn’t look like utter trash when Saeran came back. 

He turned the faucet off. The last few water droplets trickled through his hair and down his body. He grabbed a towel and dried himself off. He wrapped the towel around his waist and exited the bathroom to get some clean clothing. He walked to his room and put on his work clothes, a white shirt with slacks. A tie was optional since it was business casual, but he put one on anyway because he was feeling good today. 

He exited the bathroom and went to the kitchen. 

Saeran noticed him quickly. “Breakfast is on the table. I have to go shower.” He was about to walk away when Saeyoung threw himself onto him in a hug to stop him. 

“Uwaaa, you’re not gonna eat with me?” He whined. 

“Hyung, we have to hurry. Anyway I already ate my food.” 

“Can’t you just sit at the table with me?” 

“Hyung, we shouldn’t waste time.” 

Saeyoung let go and put his hands on his hips. “Alright then, new household rule: family meals are a requirement here. If you want to live here, you must abide by the rules. Which means you absolutely have to suffer through breakfast with me.” 

“Hyunnnggg…” Saeran groaned as Saeyoung dragged him to the table. “Fine. But eat quickly. I’ll be mad if we end up late.” His brother’s clingy and pushy behavior would be annoying to some people, but Saeran secretly loved how Saeyoung acted like he couldn’t stand a moment away from him. 

“If we end up late you’ll get the satisfaction of being able to say ‘I was right’ to me. Now come sit by me~” Saeran sat at the seat next to his brother. 

He waited while Saeran dig into his food. They were eating scrambled eggs and bacon. The scrambled eggs ended up nice and fluffy, and the bacon crispy, but still Saeran was worried it wasn’t good enough. 

“This is really good.” Saeyoung said. 

“I’m glad. I learned how to cook while I was away. I know how to make a lot of different cultural foods now from lots of the places we went to.” 

“I hope I get to try it all someday.” Saeyoung smiled. He had all the time in the world to try Saeran’s food, he was starting to realize that now. 

Saeran waited while Saeyoung ate. He finally got the idea to ask a question he’d been wondering for a while. “Hey hyung, what do you at the intelligence unit?” He asked. 

Saeyoung finished chewing his current mouthful and swallowed. “Well, we do a lot of covering up of press releases, making sure that private things stay private. We also dig stuff up on other companies to weed out anyone that might not have C&R’s best interests in mind. And in the beginning, I…” He trailed off, hesitant to speak more. 

“You what?” Saeran asked. 

“I dug up a lot of evidence for Father’s court case using some things V left behind for us. They say that without the stuff I found on him there wouldn’t have been enough sufficient evidence to put him in jail. Honestly though, what I found wasn’t pretty.” He said, his voice soft. 

Saeyoung seemed to be sinking into thought, so Saeran wanted to change the subject fast. “I think I want to get a job soon.” He said. 

Saeyoung turned back to him. “You do? You really don’t have to. I already have enough money for us to live comfortable lives and then some.” 

“I just want to provide for us too. Anyway, I’ve never had a job, I want to know what it’s like.” 

“Haha, I guess.” Saeyoung chuckled “I’ve finished my food, you’re free to go shower now.” 

Saeran got up and left to shower. Saeyoung sat on the couch to wait for his brother. He pulled out his phone to pass the time. 

[Saeyoung has joined the chat] 

MC: Oh, Saeyoung! Nice timing. I have something to announce. 

Saeyoung: what is it? 

MC: Me and V are throwing a celebration party to celebrate my first charity party going so well. 

Saeyoung: Sounds fun. 

Zen: Oh nice, a party! 

MC: Mhm! It’ll be in a couple weeks! 

Saeyoung: Sounds good. I’ll ask Saeran if he wants to go. 

MC: It’s a casual party, so there’s no need to dress fancy. 

Saeyoung: Cool. 

Zen: Oh by the way! I have some news too! 

Zen: I got a new role! 

MC: OOH NICE! 

Saeyoung: What play?

Zen: Romeo and Juliet. 

Zen: The classic forbidden love story. 

Zen: So romantic <3 

Saeyoung: You know that play was basically just Shakespeare showing us how stupid teenagers are, right? 

Saeyoung: Like there are so many things wrong with the story that to me it’s more of a comedy than a tragedy. 

Zen: How dare you bash on one of the greatest love stories of our time!

Saeyoung: First of all, they knew each other for like a day before they got married. Then they died for each other a few days later. 

Saeyoung: Second of all, Juliet was nothing but a rebound chick. 

MC: Oh damn!

Saeyoung: The only reason Romeo went to the party in the first place was because his friends wanted to help him forget about Rosaline, who turned him down shortly before. 

Saeyoung: Juliet was nothing but a way for Romeo to mend his broken heart and manly pride. 

Zen: What? 

Zen: Really? 

Saeyoung: Hold on…

Saeyoung: Have you ever even read the play? 

Zen: Uh…

Zen: I’ll read the script soon. 

Saeyoung: You called it “one of the greatest love stories of our time” without ever having read it?

Saeyoung: I’m dying of laughter here. 

Zen: Oh shut up. No one ever told me these details. 

Saeyoung: In my TED talk, I’ll be going over why you should always read the literary texts before drawing conclusions. 

Saeyoung made fun of Zen for a while longer until he heard Saeran’s door open. 

Saeyoung: Saeran’s out of the shower, gotta go!

MC: Okay don’t forget about the party! 

Saeyoung: Bye!

[Saeyoung has left the chat] 

“Hey Saeran, guess what?” Saeyoung said. 

“What?” 

“MC and V are throwing a party at their house soon and we’re invited.” 

“Cool. What’s the date?” Saeran asked. 

Saeyoung told him. 

“Alright, let me right it down on a sticky note so I don’t forget.” He picked up a pen off Saeyoung’s desk and a pad of paper. 

“Oioioioioioi, don’t touch that!” Saeyoung rushed over and yanked the pen out of his hands. 

“Hey, what was that for?” Saeran crossed his arms. 

“Ah, sorry. It’s just…this pen doesn’t write.” 

“You keep a useless pen around?” 

“Well it’s not useless, it just isn’t used for writing…” 

“What’s it for then?” Saeran asked. 

“Well…it’s got an L pill inside of it.” He didn’t want to lie to his brother. 

“What’s an L pill?” 

“Uh…” Did he really have to explain what an L pill was to his little brother? “See, when you’re an informant like I was, you risk getting kidnapped and interrogated by various parties. An L pill is a way out of that.” They can’t interrogate a dead body. 

“I don’t get it, how does it do that?” 

Saeyoung gulped. He really was going to need to spell it out, wasn’t he? “It’s poison, Saeran.” 

It took Saeran a moment to fully process the fact that his brother had a pen full of poison. A thought suddenly occurred to him. “I thought you stopped being an informant two years ago. Why do you still have it?” 

Saeyoung gave a nervous chuckle. “Uh…I wonder, haha, I guess I just forgot.” He lied. This time he had to lie. 

The RFA had had a plan for if Saeran turned up dead. They’d confiscate all the sharp objects and medications in Saeyoung’s house, as well as any rope-like material, and have Yoosung and Zen take turns staying with him to monitor him. He never got rid of the L pill because it was a good way to bypass that plan of theirs. No one would suspect a simple pen to be full of poison. He’d be able to kill himself easily and relatively pain-free with it. 

“Oh. Well, you should get rid of it soon, it’s dangerous to keep around the house.” Saeran said. 

“Yeah you’re right. I have no need of it now, I’ll get rid of it.” Saeran was back with him, he had no need for suicide anymore. He threw it away in the trash can near the desk. “Let’s hurry and get to work before I’m late.” And so they got in the car and drove to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That poison pill in a pen thing has real history. I learned about it on a WIRED video with a CIA chief of disguise. I find all that stuff fascinating. I think it makes sense for an informant to have one of them, so I used that. 
> 
> Honestly, even before V’s after ending came out, I had my theories that Saeyoung would be heavily suicidal if Saeran were to die. Especially if he thought it was his fault in some way. Probably not so much in the true route because then he has MC to comfort him, but without her I figured grief would hit him hard. I was surprised that they confirmed it so blatantly in V’s after ending. But at least I know I was right lol. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

“Saeran, are you ready yet?” They’d be late to the party at this rate. 

“Almost!” Saeran called back from the bathroom. 

Saeran took surprisingly long getting ready. He was still quite insecure about his appearance, and fussed over himself to make sure he looked okay. He was currently making sure his hair was gelled down perfectly. 

Finally, he was ready. 

“Okay, I’m finished.” Saeran came out from the bathroom. “Do you think I look okay?” 

“Absolutely adorable.” Saeyoung replied. 

“Adorable? Really? Isn’t there anything manlier you can call me? I’m not going for adorable.” 

“You look very handsome.” Saeyoung stepped over and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “But you’re still adorable.” 

“Do you still just think of me as your ‘cute little brother’? I haven’t grown at all to you?” 

“Well, you are still my cute little brother, but I do think of you differently than I did back then. Most notably, I’ve added ‘sexy’ to my list of descriptive words for you.” He gave a playful tongue-in-teeth smile. 

Saeran colored immediately. He definitely wasn’t used to being called sexy. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t think his previous girlfriend had even called him sexy once. Zen was sexy. He wasn’t. Except apparently to Saeyoung… “We should get going.” 

Saeyoung chuckled at his embarrassed response. “Okeydokey, my sexy little brother. Let’s get to the party!” 

The two walked out of the house and to the car. Saeyoung hopped in and shoved the keys into the ignition, turning it and revving up the cars engine. “Want me to pull down the roof of the convertible?” Saeyoung asked.

“Sure.” Saeran replied and Saeyoung pushed the button to let the convertible roof down. 

“Alright, we’re off!” Saeyoung said with flare. He pulled out of the garage and into the street. From there, they sped down the roadway following the directions to V’s house. “Are you excited to see everyone again?” 

Saeran turned his head to his brother. “Yeah. I’ve been talking to them over the messenger and I see Jaehee and Jumin at your work, but I’ve only seen Zen and Yoosung physically once. It’ll be nice to see them again.” 

Once arrived at the house, Saeyoung and Saeran stepped out of the car and made their way up the walkway to the house. Saeyoung rang the doorbell. 

MC was the person to open the door. “Hey, guys! Come inside!” She let them in and closed the door behind them. “We’ve got plenty of food; some cake, cookies, pizza, chicken wings, don’t be afraid to eat a bunch. If you all don’t finish it I’ll have to eat all the leftovers and I’m trying to watch my weight.” 

“You don’t need to watch your weight, MC, you’re beautiful.” Saeyoung told her. 

“It’s nearly swimsuit season! It is crucial that I look good in a bikini, okay?” 

“You’re also trying to look good in lingerie, aren’t you?” MC colored, which told Saeyoung he was right. “Aw, MC is trying to seduce V. You’ve got nothing to worry about, I’m sure he’ll love you no matter what. He’s a guy, he’ll be ready to pounce on you whenever you’re ready.” 

“I hope so. Anyway, go enjoy the party! Yoosung has been talking about you nonstop.” 

“Oh really? What’s he been talking about?” 

“He’s been interrogating Jaehee and Jumin about your mental state. He’s hoping you and him can become close again. So go talk to him.” 

“Alright, alright.” Saeyoung led Saeran to the living room where everyone resided. Jumin was sitting in the recliner drinking wine. Yoosung and Zen where in the kitchen eating and chatting with Jaehee. “Do you want to come with me when I go to talk to them?” 

“I’ll just sit here and wait.” He sat down on the couch. There was some snacks spread out on the coffee table to keep him occupied. 

“Okay. I’ll be right back.” Saeyoung said. 

Saeran got an empty plate and began filling it with crackers and cookies. 

“I’m glad you’re back.” Said Jumin, taking a sip of his wine. 

Saeran was a little surprised Jumin was talking to him. “Thanks. It’s good to be back with Saeyoung.” 

“The entire RFA has a lot less to worry about regarding your brother now that you’re home. We can all take a breath of relief.” 

“What do you mean? Was something wrong with Saeyoung while I was gone?” 

“Well, now we don’t constantly have to worry about him committing suicide now that you’re back.” 

Saeran spit out the drink he was sipping on in surprise. “What?! S-suicide?!” 

“Yep. Saeyoung had it in his head that if you were dead, he needed to die with you. Even when your death was inconclusive, we were scared he’d become too stressed with not knowing and unable to cope and just off himself anyway, regardless of if you were really dead or not. We had to constantly look after his mental state and always make sure he had something to do. I have no doubts that, had you really been dead, he would have killed himself somehow, even with all our management.” 

“Suicide…” the idea hit Saeran like a train. Was it really…? “Is that why he still had an L pill?” 

“L pill?” 

“There’s this pen at Saeyoung’s house that doesn’t write. When I asked him why, Saeyoung said it’s because it was a fake, and actually had an L pill inside of it.” 

“What’s an L pill?” 

“Well…he told me that an L pill is a special pill that can save an Agent from being painfully interrogated or kidnapped…” 

“Poison.” Jumin realized. “Damn it, I knew he’d be too clever to keep alive. The RFA had a plan for if you came back dead, and that was to confiscate all the sharp objects, rope-like objects, and medications in the house. Then we’d have Yoosung and Zen take turns sleeping at his house to make sure he was safe. I told them that plan wouldn’t work, and that we should just apprehend him and lock him in a mental hospital from the get go; and I would have been right! No one would have suspected poison in a pen. But _no,_ locking him in a mental hospital would’ve been overkill. I would have been right!” 

“You would have been right indeed.” MC said, coming up from behind them to lean on the couch. “Though it’s not really something you would’ve been happy to be right about.” 

“Were you listening to all of that?” Saeran asked. 

“The stuff about the L pill? Yeah. Was it something I shouldn’t have heard?” 

“Ah, well, maybe we should keep it quiet.” Saeran said. 

“My lips are sealed. To be honest though, I sort of just resigned Saeyoung to death if Saeran came home dead. I figured he’d just find some clever way to kill himself, even if he were locked up in a mental institution. It’s grim, maybe, that I’d give up and let him die; but he’s just too smart for us. If he wanted to die, he’d die.” MC said. 

That hung over their heads for a while as a cloud of gloom. 

‘Saeyoung would have killed himself? To be with me?’ The thought scared him, but also elated him in a shameful way. Saeyoung would really go that far just to be with him. It made part of him happy. The other part of him feared that if he really had died in that explosion, he would’ve been killing his brother too. He gulped down a lump in his throat. 

“Let’s not worry too much about what _could_ have happened. Saeran came home alive and that’s that. As long as Saeran stays alive, we won’t have to worry about Saeyoung anymore. Speak of the devil, I think he’s coming right now.” MC said, looking to their right. 

“Hey guys, whatcha talking about?” Saeyoung asked, walking towards them. 

“We were talking about how much livelier you seem now that Saeran is back.” MC lied. 

“Well of course I’m livelier!” He jumped on the couch cushion and enveloped his brother in a hug. “My little brother is home!” He wore a wide grin from ear to ear. 

Saeran’s heart calmed down a little at the affection. He smiled and rubbed Saeyoung’s head, which was nuzzled into him. 

Saeyoung released his twin. “Come on, let’s go eat some pizza.” 

Saeyoung led Saeran to the kitchen, where they ate and chatted with the RFA members. Saeran tried to put the L pill out of his head, but it just wasn’t working. ‘He’d die for me.’ This thought remained in his head. 

They got home later that night. Not much else had happened at the party. Yoosung had invited them over to his apartment to play video games later, but that was about it. Saeyoung and Saeran walked into the house. The second the door closed, Saeran pushed his twin against the wall and began kissing him. 

Saeyoung was wide-eyed as he felt his back collide with the wall. Saeran deepened the kiss and demanded access with his tongue, which Saeyoung eagerly complied to. They passionately kissed for a while longer, Saeran’s fingers tangling themselves in his brother’s hair. They finally parted, both parties panting for breath. 

“Let’s go to my room.” Saeran said, and tugged Saeyoung along. They went to his room, not even bothering to close the door. “Lay back on the bed and take off your clothes.” Saeran said as he rummaged through his desk for some lube. 

“Are we gonna do the same thing as last time?” Saeyoung asked. Saeran was being really forward tonight, and Saeyoung found that he liked it. He took off his clothing like Saeran told him. 

“No…this time, I want to try receiving.” Saeran answered. He took off his own clothing and climbed onto the bed. He squeezed some lube onto his hand and began to finger his ass until he was panting. It took a few minutes, but Saeyoung waited patiently. Finally, he was loose enough. He slathered some lube on his brother’s penis (Saeyoung had already grown hard watching Saeran finger himself) and climbed on top of him. 

“This is your first time receiving, isn’t it? Just try to relax.” Said Saeyoung soothingly. 

Saeran nodded his head in understanding. He lined up his brother’s shaft with his entrance and sat down. He felt the head go in, and the entry stung. He waited a few seconds to adjust before pushing himself on deeper. This went on until his brother was fully inside him. It felt warm and full in his abdomen. 

Saeyoung was breathless feeling his brother wrapped around him. Saeran looked so good on top of him, he wished he could take a picture just to remember exactly what it looked like. Instead, he settled for etching every detail into his memory. “Are you okay?” He asked. It can hurt bottoming for the first time, as he knew from experience. 

“It stings a little, but I’m fine.” Saeran replied. “I’m going to start moving.” He propelled his body up and down slowly on Saeyoung’s member. He heard Saeyoung moan and silently celebrated. He panted as he continued his movements, starting to feel an itch in his stomach. 

“Saeran…hah…” Saeyoung moaned out. “You look really sexy right now.” He laughed, remembering their earlier conversation. 

Saeran laughed breathlessly with him. “Ah, hah, you’re the only person that’s ever called me sexy.” 

“Well, it’s true.” He pulled Saeran down to kiss him. It soon became too much to handle, and his hips thrust upwards. Saeran moaned in response. This spurned Saeyoung I’m even more. His hips moved up without his control. “I’m not hurting you, am I?” He asked. 

“No, I like it.” Saeran answered, and kissed Saeyoung lightly. 

They both felt coils within their bellies until they finally went over the edge and reached climax. Saeran sat panting for breath over Saeyoung. Finally, he removed himself and rolled onto his back next to his brother.

“How was your first time receiving?”

“It was great.” Saeran laughed, and cuddled into his brother. Saeyoung cuddled back and wrapped his arms around Saeran. They laid silently a while in the post-orgasmic bliss. Saeran finally broke the silence. “Hey Saeyoung, what would you do if I died?” He wanted to hear it from his brother’s mouth. 

“Why are you asking something like that? You’re not planning on going anywhere, are you?” Saeyoung said it in a joking manner but Saeran could sense the underlying fear in his words. 

Saeran kissed his brother on the forehead. “No, I’m not going anywhere.” He said. “I just want to know, that’s all.” 

“Are you sure you want me to tell you? You might not like the answer…” Saeyoung said. 

“It’s alright. I want to hear it.” 

Saeyoung hesitated a moment. “I wouldn’t want to live in a world without you, so I’d probably kill myself so we could be together.” 

Saeran exhaled shakily. Saeyoung really would die for him. He nuzzled into the crook of Saeyoung’s neck. “Alright, I’ll do the same.” 

“Eh?! Please don’t die for me, Saeran. You’d still have so much to live for.” 

“I don’t want to live without you too.” He moved to sit up slightly. “Let’s make a promise: to stay together forever, in life and in death.” He lifted up his hand and extended his pinky. 

Saeyoung looked at him hesitantly. “You mean you’d really die for me?” 

“Of course.” Saeran smiled. 

Saeyoung took a deep breath, then wrapped his own pinky around his brother’s. “Together forever, in life and in death.” He repeated. 

Saeran laid back down and nuzzled into his brother. They fell asleep like that, bodies tangled together under the sheets. They didn’t realize it, but this has become much more than a game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this story would cap at 10,000 words. I was wrong. I don’t even know how long this one is gonna be lol. Not as long as the Building a new Home series, that’s for sure. I wonder which I’ll finish first lol. 
> 
> Remember, comments keep me going; so comment if you want frequent updates! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> We’re jumping straight into the smut oh yeah! There’s so much pining in Pining that even I got frustrated and this brainchild was born after I played V’s forgive after ending. Smut comes first THEN romance who woulda thunk. Anyway I hope you all enjoy this. Saeyoung is written a lot more desperate (bc he IS desperate) and Saeran is a lot more stable and grounded than in my other fanfictions. We’re starting off with just a blowjob but the smut will get heavier.


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